Start where you are. Start where they are.

I am constantly reminded that we can’t get past our barriers if we don’t know where we are. Lemme explain.

When we’re dealing with our creativity barriers, we often don’t acknowledge where we are (inside out). Or, I’m sure you’ve been through this, others don’t allow us to acknowledge where we are, either (outside in). I know it’s happened to you. You have a difficult situation going on, but you hear, ‘Oh, it’s not so bad,’ or ‘Don’t think about it that way.’ Or the dreaded kiss-off of death, ‘You’ll be fine!’ or ‘You’re strong!’ It’s as if we all think acknowledging the toughness of a situation will make the problem grow or stick to us. We’re afraid of anything that tinges of suffering, especially in the US. But suffering is information.

Here: imagine you’re diving with a weight belt. You’re near the bottom of the lake, but your instructor keeps telling you that you’re fine, you just have a little ways to go. So you push yourself a little and try to take a breath, but you’re still towards the bottom of the lake. Did minimizing your proximity to the bottom of the lake help you or hurt you?

Life is nasty, brutish and short. And this is one of the best times in history. We’re often at the top of the mountain, but the bottom of the lake is just one tumble away. Will seeing yourself — or others — anywhere other than where they actually are help them? Will telling them they’re not where they feel they are help them?

There is another way.

Instead of, ‘You’re not really under water,” or “I don’t want to deal with your issues right now so I’m going to pretend you’re not under water,” how about:

“I see you’re under water right now. Can I give you a hug?”

Or, “You won’t be there forever. What comes next?”

It’s a simple shift, but a powerful one.